Category Archives: M’s Thoughts

Nothing Pops Out of Nowhere – M Thoughts

“Look into the depths of your own soul and learn first to know yourself, then you will understand why this illness was bound to come upon you and perhaps you will thenceforth avoid falling ill.”
– Sigmund Freud

Motivation quotes are everywhere and they say such quotes make sense to only people with low IQ. However, I have wanted to share this for a long time and tonight my state of mind is right.
Everything that happens in your life, whether it is a mood swing or god forbids cancer (I believe), is the result of something you did or thought or said or felt consciously or unconsciously. To be able to cure from any disease, depression, failure, broken heart, or ache you need to first and foremost DIG DEEP and Learn To Know Yourself.

All your actions are justified, all your mistakes root from somewhere, all your insecurities were somehow triggered, and all your health issues did not just pop for no reason.

When you lose your purse, you go back in your memory and try to remember the last time you used it. You try to track your steps so you can think of the possibilities of where your wallet might be.

Similarly everything you lose can be sought after. Whether it is your happiness, your good health, your soberness, your faith, your heart, your good will, your dignity, your ego, your trust in others, your self-confidence, your freedom, your wonder, or Your Spark!

Dig, try to figure out the cause and start gluing the pieces. Go back to the last time you believed or loved or were happy, and think of what happened after that.

It is not until I realized that my back injury was a result of being surrounded by bad negative vibes, hatred, stress, fatigue, jealousy, routine, a bad lifestyle, a crooked posture, destructive people, sleep deprivation, and an unbalanced diet – which, all piled up, led me to do that wrong move at the gym that I started getting better. It was not just the move itself, it was the state of mind I was in while I carried those weights, I knew I was hurting my back – but still didn’t stop.

which brings me to..

Not everyone is destructive, but many of us are. We often hurt ourselves willingly due to a lack of selflove. If you do not Love Yourself, Stop Your Life and Learn to Love Yourself. Loving yourself is not a power trip – it does not mean stepping on those around you it means the exact opposite.

When you love yourself, you seize the opportunities that come your way perfectly, you believe that you deserve everything life is giving you, you set your standards higher, you attract the right people – the right vibes, you grow – and you glow. The more you glow, the more you will intimidate (you can read this with hate to find gaps) or motivate (you can also read this with wonder to find hope).

which brings me to..

If your past is not letting you love yourself, Learn to Forgive Yourself. I tried this NLP Exercise with a wiseman, and it turned out that I feel better if I held both my arms with my arms – hugged myself. Hug Yourself often and learn to let go off your mistakes. We live in a sick world – everyone is untrue – everyone lies and hides. It gets contagious, unfortunately. Erase whatever reason makes you believe you deserve any less than you thought you deserved. Delete whatever memory convinces you you’re not worthy of good things.

While you’re doing that, forgive others and put yourselves in their shoes.

While you’re doing that, love those who destroyed you because they made you you.

Once you love yourself more, you will become healthier and less destructive. It becomes less likely for you to fall ill or tired, or to get injured – and more likely to be healthy, happy, and prospering.

Enough for tonight,
Finally, Bashir has been waiting for me to post this picture (cover) for ages.

Picture Credit: BashirBouRaffoul

Much Love!
M

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more followers. less friends.

[our generation]

we be abusing hashtags to gain “followers” on instagaram.
Followers i.e: people we don’t know, who might follow us and like our pictures, so that we feel better about ourselves by getting recognition and acknowledgement from strangers.

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rejecting people who want to be our friends on facebook.
we get daily notifications from people who are usually our friends’ friends – cause most of us use that filter – however, we reject them because we are cool like that, we don’t speak to strangers.

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matching with people on Tinder for “friendship” goals
“It is not a fuck app” well, I’m sorry to break it up to you like that, but it is. If you are on Tinder, you are most probably single and wouldn’t mind a hook up. If you are looking for new friends on social media, try going through your friend requests on Facebook or friends list. They might not want to get into your pants. They might, every one wants to eventually, but if you want to make best friends on Tinder, that is not going to happen – except if you’re super duper ugly but super fun; then you belong to the minority of the lucky tinderians.tinder.giftinder-gif.gif

 

ignoring our friends in real life and getting on our phones instead.
I don’t want to get into the whole “when I’m with friend X, I tell my friend Y im bored on whatsapp; then when I get with friend Y, and make plans on whatsapp with friend X.” read it again if you’re slow – the whole being on your phone while you’re out or in, with your friends is a bit retarded – Live an out of body experience, third-eye see yourself: you and your friend looking down your phones and sitting next to each other. It’s sick. And we all do it.zac-efron-group-texting-tinder.gif

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If you don’t enjoy a friend’s company, stop hanging out with them; period. If you enjoy someone’s presence, give them your full attention; done.

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Doing things just to post stories on Snapchat.
Now, there’s something positive in that. Most of us fear social rejection, so we want to prove to our social groups that we are active and doing something every day. It is getting most of us more ‘alive’ (AND buying clothes solely for instagram potential is getting people more trendy – and the fashion business working) But, again if you’re doing whatever you’re doing just to prove something to someone/anyone else – and most of us are – DO NOT simply do it!

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You create your social image on social media, it’s no secret.
Social media gets you awareness and serves as a bridge between you and your dreams, you and the people you want to be associated with, and you and your friends. But, sometimes turn off your phone, appreciate your surrounding, and give value to your personal relationships.

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much love
Maya

You Were My Home: A Message from Her

They say there is no such thing as true love. It does not exist. Love is just a thought, a non-existant dream. People get married to the person they are in love with, and then soon, the relationship turns out to be some kind of an investment, a contribution to society. Parents become partners and soon turn into life-long friends; best friends if they were lucky. Some realize reality and divorce, some just live with it, some get so caught up that they don’t even notice it.

But what if I feel I will – if ever – marry the wrong person, cause the only person I loved was you?

It’s hard to say it out loud. But I searched for you in every person I thought I liked or loved. I searched for you in people who knew you, and I told people who didn’t know you about you. It’s as if you’re a part of me, that never left – even though you’re far gone. That rush that my heart would feel just by mentioning your name or knowing about you is unreal. It doesn’t make sense. Why you? Why didn’t I know that it was bigger than me? I somehow did, but I wanted to outsmart my feelings, but now I am living with a broken heart.

Living like this is logically heart breaking. I try to believe you are not the reason of my misery, but you are. Nothing makes sense without you. I thought you made me weak, what I didn’t know is: loving you made me strong. I was strong because of you. Maybe I wasn’t, perhaps I was strong before you too. What I know is you broke me, and my heart still fights for you to this day.

I don’t know how to convince him to love again. I’m so scared to be alone. It horrifies me, and that explains all the relationships I was in. I felt trapped in each and every one of them. Being with any guy was a step farther away from you. I was never happy, even though they tried twice as much as you did, I could never give in – not to anyone else but you.

I can’t love myself either, for losing you. Maybe that sounds exaggerated, but it’s true. I’m not trying to flatter you. We both know what we had was bigger, you can’t convince me you have it with her.

Who is she?
I want to believe that you’re just like me: you’re convincing yourself you love her but you love me, but I can’t. I want to believe that we still have a spiritual connection, but I simply don’t anymore. And it hurts..

I know this sounds like just another desperate letter, maybe it is. Maybe I am desperate. I should congratulate you. We always thought I was the strong cold-hearted one.

I can’t play the victim because we both ruined each other, a love so strong can’t simply end without chaos. I can’t blame you without blaming myself.

I ask myself, if we went back in time; would I lay my eyes on you and let myself fall in love with you like I did? Or would I look away? Would I leave my everything to be with you like I did? Or would you just be a happy thought in my system to keep, while living like the rest of them? Would I say out loud that you’re my soul mate? Or would I realize that I was your lesson when in fact you were my home?

You can also check I Should Have Listened: A Message From Your Daughter

You can Also check I Died Today : A Message from A Lebanese Martyr

 

 

Only if you’re in your 20s

Being 23 reminds me of being 13; girls with moustache, unibrows, underdeveloped tities, and body hair not knowing whether they should start shaving, whether wearing a bra is okay or not, and if playing with barbies is so last year. You know some girls almost lost their virginities at 13 whereas other girls still wore those tutu dresses and went to church every Sunday with their grandmas. Just like thirteen didn’t really feel right, 23 feels really perplexing – different people experience it differently.

I somehow tend to categorize us 23/25 year olds into four categories:

  • Those who are settled down (jumped the 20s)
    Honestly, I believe that being in your twenties is like getting an appetizer at a diner. Being an adolescent is more like only chips. You can’t really afford the appetizers when you’re still (generally) depending on your parents’ salary. In your twenties, you have the luxury to see it all yourself. You start generating your own income that allows you to do whatever you want, spend your time wherever you want, and be around whomever you want. Cause hey, we both know you had curfew before. Even if you didn’t, there were many factors stopping you from getting into certain places or being around the people you want to be around.
    Those who chose to settle down, meaning got married, I guess jumped that appetizer stage and went directly to the main dish. No matter what you tell me, being married in your early twenties is somehow running away from all the challenge and getting into ‘safe hands’. If it weren’t safe, well, it’s actually worse. You are actually not only responsible for yourself but for another baby (other than yourself). If you’re just a couple who doesn’t want to get mini you-s, you as well, jumped into a whole different lifestyle of sharing everything with someone else. It might be nice sometimes, but I guess you could’ve tried to do it first yourself for a while, then got into all this. The feeling of being independent is beautiful, and it’s different than when you were in college.

kidsGetting married at a young age has advantages like being closer to your kids (decreasing the age gap), enjoying retirement with your spouse, and sharing your life with someone else. However, with all these divorce rates, I can’t guarantee married couples will last till retirement, and if they do, they would’ve had some really tough years. Moreover, I guess I have a big age-gap with 20 year olds, it’s not even funny. If I slept for 2 months, I’d have an age gap with my friends my age. The age-gap is bound to exist if I were ten years older than my kids, the generation gaps are so wide these days, I’d rather enjoy my golden years.
However, I am not entirely against early marriage, I have some close friends who are happily married and I wish them the best.

  • Those who are living their teenage years (filling the space)
    Just like some people jump into adulthood full on, and don’t enjoy the moment, others do the exact opposite… those are the people who basically had hard as hell curfews / or were studying all the time back in college/ or where super ugly and had a major plastic surgery makeover (but I’m not gonna go shallow on you) that now have the freedom/ chance to do what the cool kids used to do in college. They’d be throwing house parties every other day, getting high, recklessly partying all the time, getting shit ass drunk and hooking up with random people, getting excited about making friends at any given occasion; not searching for any sort of stability in their lives.ted-movie

I’m not contradicting myself, stability is definitely what a 20-something year old person should aim for, however settling down needs far-seeing and acquired-wisdom that I doubt people might have in their early 20s.
Now you see, there’s a thin line between that and being a free-spirit in your early 20s. Enjoying your 20s definitely includes partying, dating, and meeting interesting people, but with the experience and emotional intelligence that one is bound to have in his 20s, the same activities become different. Different goals. Time becomes too precious to waste it on fake relationships and pointless friendships.

  • The Entrepreneurs (the Risk Takers)
    Those are the freelancers, free-spirits, or the dreamers. If you are one, you have earned my respect already. The entrepreneurs are people who are willingly or unwillingly not working a day-job, but working either freelance projects or building their own small startup businesses.
    Both are definitely risk takers. I know some friends who have even quit their full-time job to work on their projects – dreams. Those people are an inspiration. Again, it’s better to do that in your early 20s than in your 30s -you can’t go all Kramer vs. Kramer on your wife/husband. It’s either you fail or you make it big. If you make it big, I applause you. If you lose, well you can either try again till you win, or you can just surrender to the economic lifestyle everyone else is doing, and be employed.
    If you’re giving this a thought just know this:
    Your lifestyle would be either doing absolutely nothing all day, or zillion things in one day. Some days you’d feel super depressed/unproductive and other days you’d feel you’re on top of the world when invited on radio/tv shows or to events/ seminars.
    *There are some programs, that I’m a fan of, in Lebanon like seeqnce and BDL Accelerate that actually support/fund start-ups. You can check those if you want.
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  • The young-Adults (TGIFers)
    Whereas other 20 year olds (mentioned so far) cant really keep track of what’s-today, the young adults count the days till the end of the month – when they get paid. In our capitalistic societies, the TGIFers are playing it safe. They are ofcourse enrolled in a hierarchical institution, working their asses of aspiring of gaining the experience, the know-hows, and the connections in their fields.
    They either want to reach higher positions or want to eventually open up their own businesses with their acquired knowledge. Most of them stay employees their whole lives – dedicate their life to the company they work in. I do admire those, especially if they’ve worked in one company their whole lives. That’s like dedicating your life to God. Of course no company is God, but I appreciate the dedication and I value the opportunity cost those people had to sacrifice to remain in the same environment for years. Others jump around. I appreciate the ambition and adaptation ability of those. Few of them, who have the right resources eventually, open their own businesses. Those would be experienced entrepreneurs – and again risk-takers that I respect.
    Young adults understand terms like Sad Monday and Thank God It’s Friday. They have the luxury to go out every night, but they stick to watching a DVD, reading a book, or even sleeping early on some nights. They hate Mondays and love Fridays just like students. They are busy during the weekdays, so they sometimes forget to plan a cool weekend – but they don’t mind it because hey, it’s always better spontaneous. Young adults lose a lot of friends and tend to feel alienated around the first two categories. They usually associate themselves with older people, but still love to spend quality time with their childhood and family members. They usually have a good-5/10-contacts-group-on-whatsapp that is basically their escape. They’d be sending silly voice notes and pictures back and forth throughout the day. I’d say that usually the young adults make up around 60% out of the population – but unemployment rates are drastic these days, I don’t know if they are the majority.
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    Bottom line is, life is all about decisions. Whether you’ll live your teens in your eighties or if you wore makeup when you were four, nothing is wrong or right. If you were lucky enough to find your soulmate at a young age, make sure you are wise enough to take a life-long commitment decision, and make sure you are both adequate to make a living. If you were now discovering life because you couldn’t before, make sure you surround yourself with younger- or at least people you trust who wouldn’t take advantage of you. Know that this phase you’re living is simply what they call psychological ‘défoulement’ – that shouldn’t last forever, or else you wouldn’t really get anywhere – except if you’re planning to be like John, from the movie Ted. If you have the skills to make a living as a freelancer or ambitious enough to start planning your own business, make sure you know the ups and downs of that. As a freelancer, make sure you don’t spend all your money at once when you get money, cause it might not always be available. Even if it’s not your ‘thing’ to be safe, with money, make your best to play it safe. You don’t want your friends paying your share when you go out do you? As a dreamer, know that the probability of failing for a beginner is more than 75% (FFFW). You got to pick up the pieces and start over a lot of times, and if you don’t ever make it, congratulate yourself for trying – not everyone does. Lastly, if you were fortunate enough to land on a job, make sure you don’t succumb your full energy and time into your job that you forget your ethics, or yourself completely. Remember what you loved to do before you started working, do more of your habits. Paint, exercise, play music, go out with friends, watch movies, and act silly. Even if your job is super serious, don’t wear all beige and turn into a dull character. Your job doesn’t define you, it’s you job period. Plus, don’t just settle to one job no matter how safe and easy going the environment is – except if it’s really your dream job. Don’t forget your dreams. Always be up to new adventures/ opportunities. Finally, no matter what, TRAVEL. When you have money, instead of buying a couple of Prada bags or moccasin shoes, book a ticket to whatever country it is, and go. Don’t be picky. Any country in the world is worth it – just don’t go to war zones.

travel-quotesLife is easy, and it’s all a matter of cause and effect. You are now what you’ve been living your whole life to be. If you have dreams and you’re not taking any action towards them, start a to-do list of short-term goals and long-term goals. Keep track of your improvement. If you have friends that you don’t like, cut them off. They wouldn’t have you around if they don’t want you around. If they would, well… Should I continue? Start planning right and you’re going to achieve your dreams. Oh and dream big because dreams do come true.

*So Marc recommended to me this article “The Brain on 23” by Molly Sprayregen that somehow got me writing this article. You can check it out: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/molly-sprayregen/the-brain-on-23_b_6046888.html
Much love!
Maya Akra

Randoms

A person has accomplished a lot if he inspired one person who is not a part of his close social groups. Even if he didn’t realize his direction himself, if he assisted someone else in his journey when it’s more tangible, his journey becomes more colorful. It’s better to have flowers your whole life and not getting anywhere, than thorns that might prevent you from getting to your target at the end of the way.